How to solve the total task on "return true to win" in 21 chars

21 chars

{valueOf:n=_=>n=2<<n}

My original joke, which got downvoted and proposed for deletion:

11 chars :)

total=_=>!0

Test:

function total(x) {
  return (x < x) && (x == x) && (x > x);
}
var arg = total=_=>!0
console.log(total(arg))

Cheaty answer

I've already mentioned it in the comments, but it was not tested. It is now. You'll have to keep submitting it until it works.

{valueOf:Math.random}

Demo

function total(x) {
  return (x < x) && (x == x) && (x > x);
}

for(i = 1; !total({valueOf:Math.random}); i++);

console.log('Returned true after ' + i + ' iteration(s)')