Physics of heating a swimming pool

I will assume your heat exchanger uses the common counter flow principle - that is, the direction of flow of the "cold" water opposes that of the "hot" water, so the hottest water in the heating loop (entering the heat exchanger) is in touch with the hottest water of the pool loop (just before exiting the heat exchanger).

The heat flow across the exchanger is proportional to the temperature difference. Since the "input temperature" is fixed at 180 F, the only variable is the temperature of the "sink" - the pool water. The colder the pool water, the greater the heat flow.

At the input of the heat exchanger, the temperature is the temperature of the pool; at the exit, it will be somewhat warmer. The slower the water flows, the more heat it will pick up, and the hotter the water that re-enters the pool. However, the hotter the pool water in the exchanger, the smaller the thermal gradient, and therefore the smaller the heat flux into the pool water.

The water will heat most rapidly if the pool water runs quickly - this keeps the temperature difference greatest.

There is just one caveat: the power of the pump moving the water. If the pump is working harder to move water through a constricted valve, it would generate a little bit more power; if the water flow is set up so heat from the pump is dumped to the water, you will get a small amount of additional heating; but I don't believe that would ever offset the benefit of the faster gradient.

One other consideration: what happens to the surface of your pool. This relates to the way the output of your heat exchanges returns to the pool. If you have a jet that dumps deep inside the pool, there will be little disturbance at the surface; if it's aimed at the surface, you will cause some "stirring". As you may know, the greatest heat loss from a pool happens through evaporation - so if there is anything in your setup that increases evaporation as a function of flow rate through the heat exchanger, that will affect the total heating time.

If it were my pool, I would probably rig up a thermocouple and a data logger, and look at the evolution of temperature. Turn the flow rate up and down every two hours or so, and see if you can observe a change in heating rate on the temperature trace.

I am sorry - according to the laws of physics, your pool guy is wrong. Open that valve, and let the water flow!