Make a simple IRC bot.

Python - 125 points

• 304 chars
• follows steps 1-5 (works for me on irc.freenode.net:6667. if you try there, remember IDENT might take a while, so give it 20+ seconds to connect and speak)
• follows 4 restrictions (assuming the NOTICE restriction which is a bit unclear. the UTF restriction counts because python won't choke if it doesn't need to parse any UTF).

score math (python):

bonus = 1 # connects to channel
bonus *= 2 # steps 1-5
for i in xrange(4):
    bonus *= 1.05 # 4 restrictions

int(304.0/bonus)
> 125

code:

import socket
i=raw_input
u=i('user# ')
n=i('nick# ')
h,p=i('host:port# ').split(':',1)
p=int(p)
c='#'+i('chan# ')
z=0
while 1:
 try:
  def s(m): z.send(m+'\r\n')
  z.recv(9)
 except:
  z=socket.socket();z.connect((h,p));s('USER '+n+' 0 * :'+n);s('NICK '+n);s('JOIN '+c);s('PRIVMSG '+c+' :Hello, world!')

Perl, 66 points

• 666 characters
• all substeps
• half of the restrictions

Score

use 5.010;
$bonus = 1;              # connects to channel
$bonus *= 2;             # steps 1 to 5
$bonus *= 1.2 for 1..8;  # substeps A to H
$bonus *= 1.05 for 1..3; # restrictions 3, 4, 6
say int(666 / $bonus);
> 66

Code

(newlines for presentation only, not counted let alone acceptable)

use POE"Component::IRC";$_='sub _start{Zregister,all);Z"connect")}subX001{
Zjoin=>$c);ZY"Hello, world!")}*Xquit=*Xpart=*Xjoin=sub{$g=$_[STATE]=~/t/?G
oodbye:Hello;$_=$_[ARG0];/\w+/;ZY"$g, $&!")};subXkick{$_=$_[ARG2];/\w+/;Z$
&eq$n?"join":Y"POW HAHA")}subXpublic{$_=$_[ARG2];if(/turing test/i){ZY"I\'
m a human!")}elsif(/6\*9/){Zquit,42)}elsif(/all your base are belong to us
/i){Zquit,"What you say!")}elsif(/^ /){$t=-32;$t+=ord for/./g;ZY$t)}}chop(
($n,$r,$s,$c)=<>);$c="#$c";$i=POE::Component::IRC->spawn(nick,$n,ircname,$
r,server,$s)';s/Z/\$i->yield(/g;s/Y/privmsg,\$c,/g;S/X/ irc_/g;eval;POE::S
ession->create(package_states,[main,[grep*$_{CODE},%::]]);POE::Kernel->run

Side Note

The "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US" substep is most probably not worth its character count, but if I dropped it I wouldn't have the nice character count. Bugger.

Ruby, 65 points

• 574 Chars
• Steps 1-5, 6(A-G) and restrictions on libs, UTF-8, no NOTICE & PONG
• Takes commandline args in the form of server:6667 botnick botuser channel

Score

bonus = 0       # We've done nothing yet
bonus += 1      # Connects to channel
bonus *= 2      # Step 1 - 5

for n in 1..7
    bonus *= 1.2    # A - G
end

for n in 1..4
    bonus *= 1.05   # 4 constraints
end

puts (574/bonus).to_i
> 65

Code

require'socket'
a=ARGV
c="##{a[3]}"
h,p=a[0].split':'
s=TCPSocket.open(h,p)
m="PRIVMSG #{c} :"
s.puts"USER #{a[2]} 0 * :#{a[2]}\nNICK #{a[1]}\nJOIN #{c}\n#{m}Hello, world!"
while l=s.gets
case l
when/\:(.+?)!(.+)JOIN/
s.puts"#{m}Hello, #{$1}!"
when/KICK (.+?) (.+?) \:(.+)/
if $2==a[1]
s.puts"JOIN #{c}"
else
s.puts"#{m}POW HAHA"
end
when/\:(.+?)\!(.+)(PART|QUIT)/
s.puts"#{m}Goodbye, #{$1}!"
when/turing test/i
s.puts"#{m}I'm a human!"
when/6\*9/
s.puts"QUIT :42"
when/all your base are belong to us/i
s.puts"QUIT :What you say!"
when/PING \:(.+)/
puts"PONG #{$1}"
end
end