Is total_elapsed_time in DMV sys.dm_exec_requests completely inaccurate?

There is a bug that aggregates the time in a parallel operation. This is fixed in 2014.

The total_elapsed_time will be correct for a particular parallel query in a batch until it moves on to the next statement in the batch, then the total_elapsed_time will explode by the DOP.

Example

Run this in one query window:

USE AdventureWorks2012
GO
SELECT *
FROM Sales.SalesOrderDetail sod
JOIN Production.Product p ON sod.ProductID = p.ProductID
ORDER BY Style 

waitfor delay '00:00:15'

Run this in a second:

select 
    DATEDIFF(ms, start_time, getdate()) ActualElapsedTime,
    total_elapsed_time from sys.dm_exec_requests
where session_id = <your session_id for the above batch>

The two values will be close to identical until SQL Server moves to the WAITFORDELAY statement, then you should see the total_elapsed_time explode (assuming the first query has a parallel plan as it does on my server).

I remember working on this for a customer a few years ago. Found the bug in the internal database (I am a Microsoft Premier Developer Consultant), but no public reference.

It looks like it could also be an bug/issue with the DMV. There is a Connect bug report here of this same kind of inaccuracy. The suggested workaround is to use

GETDATE() - sys.dm_exec_requests.start_time

instead of total_elapsed_time. The issue is resolved in SQL Server 2014. To quote the comment on the Connect item by "Nathan (MSFT)":

The issue with sys.dm_exec_requests.total_elapsed_time isn't specific to RESTORE operations; it has also been observed with UPDATE STATISTICS as well. This issue will not be resolved in SQL Server 2008 R2. [...] The issue is resolved in SQL Server 2014.

I've checked a couple servers and on the background requests observed a drift of about 14s over 2 months.

However that aside, the only significant difference I can see on other requests is where the spid has gone into a SLEEPING state. I suspect that this value does not increment while in that state; but I haven't been able to force a query into SLEEPING in order to test it. (WAITFOR goes to suspended rather than sleeping).

There may be other causes but I haven't found any yet. You could rule this one out by monitoring your query to make sure it doesn't go to SLEEPING state.