How would one get a custom attribute with Jquery

You're aware that you have a discrepancy between your custom attribute 'date-ref' in your text, and 'data-ref' in your jQuery?

Also, you might find it easier to work with the jQuery object:

$(this).attr('data-ref');

JS Fiddle demo.

The problem, indeed, seems to be that you weren't using a jQuery object:

this.attr('data-ref');

Can't work

On the other hand, to retrieve data-* attributes using the DOM, you do have the options of:

this.getAttribute('data-ref');

Or:

this.dataset.ref;

Or:

this.dataset['ref'];

$("selector").attr("data-ref");

Should definitly work.

Maybe you can post your html code.