how to get the list of process

See ps-node

To get a list of processes in node:

var ps = require('ps-node');

ps.lookup({
command: 'node',
arguments: '--debug',
}, function(err, resultList ) {
if (err) {
    throw new Error( err );
}

resultList.forEach(function( process ){
    if( process ){

        console.log( 'PID: %s, COMMAND: %s, ARGUMENTS: %s', process.pid, process.command, process.arguments );
        }
    });
});

As far as I know there isn't a module (yet) to do this cross-platform. You can use the child process API to launch tools that will give the data you want. For Windows, just launch the built-in tasklist process.

var exec = require('child_process').exec;
exec('tasklist', function(err, stdout, stderr) {
  // stdout is a string containing the output of the command.
  // parse it and look for the apache and mysql processes.
});