How should I write a "Personal History Statement" - does a lack of "challenges" mean I cannot contribute to diversity?

The previous answer was great, but since it didn't assuage your doubts, I'll try a different approach.

I will rewrite the instructions for you, removing the parts you're having trouble with.

Describe how your accomplishments led to your decision to pursue the graduate degree for which you are applying. Include any educational opportunities relevant to your academic journey. Your department may have special prompts and directions for the Personal History Statement; be sure to check the requirements.

Sample response: I always felt that my math teacher and I were on the same wavelength. I always loved going to math class, and my math assignments were always my favorite part of doing homework. I had a wonderful opportunity in 9th grade when I was invited to participate in _________. It was an honor to represent my school, and participating in the event, with scores of other math geeks, was thrilling.

You have my permission to stop there.

Now, if you decide to make a stab at addressing the diversity question, consider this: what is the demographic make-up of the state of California, and how did that come to be? (I will let you find the answer to those questions, as homework.) Has there been a historical gender imbalance in your field? Is there anything about you that would make you an effective graduate student instructor, mentor or outreach specialist, enabling you to effectively support the success of underrepresented groups in your field? Perhaps you have had experience communicating with someone with a different dialect. Perhaps you had more patience with this than some of your fellow students. Perhaps you have been lucky enough to be educated in a system where women were not underrepresented in your field, and this experience left you with a firm belief in the role of women in your field. (These are just examples to give you an idea.)


The dreaded personal statement!

Put yourself in the shoes of the people reviewing your application. They will have a large pile (50-100+) of applications. They will be tired. They'll probably do some skimming. This is your audience. Your goal is to attract their attention.

You can attract attention in your statement with simple and clear organization, and by bolding the major points that you want to make. Think of the statement more like a sales pitch. Make the argument simple. Then bold the main points. This will help the reviewers literally "see" your application.

Also, think of the questions that a reviewer will have. They will be reading your application looking for the answers to these questions:

  1. Can this person write well?
  2. What research/scholarship skills do they have?
  3. Why does this person want to come to this university?
  4. Does this person want to work with me? Do they mention my name?

Your statement should be an argument that answers these kinds of questions.

Tips for organization: Come up with a simple story-structure for your statement. For example:

  1. Section 1: Very brief intro. Hi, I'm Misakov... Here are my general interests, let me tell you why I'm an excellent choice for your program.
  2. Section 2: Previous training/experience. In this section, write a short paragraph for each experience, highlighting the relevant skills you learned in each. Also, having some parallel structure across the paragraphs will help the readers find the info they are looking for. For example, each section could tell the same story: I worked with X person, we worked on Y conceptual issue and found Z result. I learned A, B and C skills.
  3. Section 3: Here's why your program is a good fit.
    • Why this program? I'm interested in this program because...
    • People I would like to work with: Mention some specific faculty that you would like to work with. You don't need to say more than a couple sentences about each person. (This may be unnecessary in Math, I come from a different field)

Now for some specific comments:

  • I want to point out that when they say challenges, they don't mean they want to hear about your parents divorce. They mean that time you couldn't find software to do X for you, so you wrote an app that could.

  • Do not pretend anything (I'm going to assume that comment was made out of desperation and not with any real intent to do something so unnecessary and unethical)! Your story is enough. You are an international Asian student. Mention this. It need not be dramatic, but yes that is considered an increase in diversity.

  • Other things they are looking for/other things that can relate to you increasing diversity: Do you mentor or tutor students? Do you do any volunteer work? What efforts have you made to disseminate research findings to the broader public? Have you received any scholarships or awards that demonstrate your commitment to Z? Are you in a math club of some kind and do you go to grade schools once a year to get young children excited about math?

  • Increasing diversity is not just about you. It's about the people and community you support as well.

Bottom Line: Despite its name, the personal statement is not personal. It's professional.

Hope this helps! Good luck.