How do I stay motivated in my PhD research when my advisor doesn't seem to like me very much?

What a shame that your professor hasn't been giving you constructive feedback as you've been going. I think I would end up depressed, working with someone who waits, and then dumps a lot of negativity in a complaining and blaming way.

So... I see two choices.

1) Find a different advisor. OR:

2) Try to make the best of a less than ideal situation:

a) Take all of his feedback and rewrite it, with positive phrasing. Read the constructive version a couple of times a week, telling yourself, "This is what he meant, only he was held back from expressing himself this way by his own cultural upbringing, personal shortcomings, etc. This is like the Fats Waller song, "I'm gonna sit right down, and write myself a letter." (lyrics).

b) Pick a couple of his feedback items at a time to tackle, to see if you can make some progress with.

c) Guide him to give you guidance in a more positive, constructive way. Here are some ways to do that:

(i) Next time you share a powerpoint draft with him, include the extra material, and in the body of the email, when you send it to him, say, for example, "I know that this draft needs to be pruned down. Can you help me cut it down, by suggesting which slides should be removed, and which ones should be edited?"

(ii) Ask for an appointment specifically to speak about coping mechanisms for your condition. Take an outline on an index card with you. Use I-messages. (You and I know that he has contributed plenty to the difficulties in your relationship, but it won't help matters to let him know that.) For example, "I need constructive criticism, as part of my training. But I get easily discouraged and overwhelmed by negative criticism. So, when I share a draft with you, could you please find something positive to say for every three negative things you say? That will help me keep my perspective."

(iii) Make sure to give him positive feedback whenever he makes a step in the right direction, for example, "Thank you so much for helping me edit my powerpoint. Your comments were extremely helpful."

d) As others have suggested, work on breaking your isolation. (I understand completely your explanation of how it came to be.)

Last comment. You might be right, he might not like you very much. But what struck me more clearly was that you don't like him very much. Sometimes when a person struggles with depression, it is hard to give oneself permission to have strong opinions of this type.

Here's hoping that if you decide to stay in this group, the two of you find more to like about each other!


The said situation comes often in many cases. Though frequency is very less, but it really helps to make one strong to work in adverse situation. Since you want to continue your PhD and keen to get a doctorate degree, so my suggestion is to tell yourself that your supervisor's expectation is natural of being you productive more and more. Don't care much about your supervisor's negligence or disinterest in your work. Because such thoughts will never help you to achieve your goals, but definitely impact on your inner piece and creativeness to perform well in PhD.

So, long story short, it is temporary and may persist maximum until your PhD. Good Luck!!