Design by contract using assertions or exceptions?
The rule of thumb is that you should use assertions when you are trying to catch your own errors, and exceptions when trying to catch other people's errors. In other words, you should use exceptions to check the preconditions for the public API functions, and whenever you get any data that are external to your system. You should use asserts for the functions or data that are internal to your system.
Disabling assert in release builds is like saying "I will never have any issues whatsoever in a release build", which is often not the case. So assert shouldn't be disabled in a release build. But you don't want the release build crashing whenever errors occur either, do you?
So use exceptions and use them well. Use a good, solid exception hierarchy and ensure that you catch and you can put a hook on exception throwing in your debugger to catch it, and in release mode you can compensate for the error rather than a straight-up crash. It's the safer way to go.