Create a chain of spam generators in as many languages as possible

PHP 5.5 -> Ruby 2.0 -> Python 2.7 -> Lua -> C# -> Java -> PdfTeX -> GolfScript 855 / 8^2 = 13.359375

The main ideas were:

  1. Instead of actually creating the logic to create the n+1th language in all programming languages do this only one time, and only use the basic random and stdout writing facilities of each programming language
  2. To shorten the template generator, just compress it with zLib. Make this generator the second language
  3. Use PHP as the first language, as it has built-in zLib decompressor

So the initial code is:

<?php $x=file_get_contents("php://stdin");echo preg_replace_callback("/\[(.*?)\]/",function($m){$r=explode("/",$m[1]);return $r[array_rand($r)];},$x).gzuncompress("BINARY_DATA")."__END__\n".$x;

Where BINARY_DATA is the gzcompressed version of the template generator (e.g. the result of the php code, which is the ruby version)

The complete initial code in base64 (should be 855 bytes after decoding):
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Let's go through all of the languages with the test input string [Thank you/Wow/Great], this is [awesome/wonderful].

PHP

$ cat ti2 | php a.php
Great, this is wonderful.
d=DATA.read.chomp.split('[').map{|a|a.split(']')}.flatten.map{|a|a.split('/')}
d.each{|a|print a.sample}
puts <<"DATA"

from random import choice
import sys
#{d.map{|a|"sys.stdout.write(choice(#{a.inspect}))"}*"\n"}
print
print '''math.randomseed(os.time())
#{d.map{|a|"a=#{a.inspect.tr('[]','{}')};io.write(a[math.random(1,#{a.length})]);"}*"\n"}
print()
print([==[
public class a {
public static void Main() {
System.Random r=new System.Random();
#{d.map{|a|b=->m{m.length==1?"System.Console.Write(#{m.first.inspect});":"if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write(#{m.shift.inspect});}else{"+b[m]+"};"};b[a.dup]}*"\n"}
System.Console.WriteLine();
System.Console.WriteLine(@"class a {
public static void main(String[] args) {
java.util.Random r=new java.util.Random();
#{d.map{|a|b=->m{m.length==1?"System.out.print(\"#{m.first.inspect}\");":"if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(\"#{m.shift.inspect}\");}else{"+b[m]+"};"};b[a.dup]}*"\n"}
System.out.println();
#{x="a";d.map{|a|b=->m{m.length==1?m.first: "\\\\\\\\ifnum500>\\\\\\\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 #{m.shift}\\\\\\\\else "+b[m]+"\\\\\\\\fi"};x=x.succ;a.length>1?"System.out.println(\"\"\\\\\\\\def \\\\\\\\opt#{x} {#{b[a.dup]}}%\"\");": ""}*"\n"}
System.out.println(""#{x="a";d.map{|a|x=x.succ;a.length>1?"\\\\\\\\opt#{x}{}": a.first}*""}"");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""#{d.map{|a|a.length>1? "[#{a.map{|b|"'#{b}'"}*""}]#{a.length}rand=" : "'#{a.first}'"}*""}"");
System.out.println(""\\\\\\\\bye"");
}
}");
}
}
]==]);
'''
DATA
__END__
[Thank you/Wow/Great], this is [awesome/wonderful].

Ruby

$ ruby a.rb
Great, this is awesome.
from random import choice
import sys
sys.stdout.write(choice(["Thank you", "Wow", "Great"]))
sys.stdout.write(choice([", this is "]))
sys.stdout.write(choice(["awesome", "wonderful"]))
sys.stdout.write(choice(["."]))
print
print '''math.randomseed(os.time())
a={"Thank you", "Wow", "Great"};io.write(a[math.random(1,3)]);
a={", this is "};io.write(a[math.random(1,1)]);
a={"awesome", "wonderful"};io.write(a[math.random(1,2)]);
a={"."};io.write(a[math.random(1,1)]);
print()
print([==[
public class a {
public static void Main() {
System.Random r=new System.Random();
if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("Thank you");}else{if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("Wow");}else{System.Console.Write("Great");};};
System.Console.Write(", this is ");
if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("awesome");}else{System.Console.Write("wonderful");};
System.Console.Write(".");
System.Console.WriteLine();
System.Console.WriteLine(@"class a {
public static void main(String[] args) {
java.util.Random r=new java.util.Random();
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""Thank you"");}else{if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""Wow"");}else{System.out.print(""Great"");};};
System.out.print("", this is "");
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""awesome"");}else{System.out.print(""wonderful"");};
System.out.print(""."");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""\\\\def \\\\optb {\\\\ifnum500>\\\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Thank you\\\\else \\\\ifnum500>\\\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Wow\\\\else Great\\\\fi\\\\fi}%"");

System.out.println(""\\\\def \\\\optd {\\\\ifnum500>\\\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 awesome\\\\else wonderful\\\\fi}%"");

System.out.println(""\\\\optb{}, this is \\\\optd{}."");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""['Thank you''Wow''Great']3rand=', this is '['awesome''wonderful']2rand='.'"");
System.out.println(""\\\\bye"");
}
}");
}
}
]==]);
'''

Python

$ python a.py
Great, this is wonderful.
math.randomseed(os.time())
a={"Thank you", "Wow", "Great"};io.write(a[math.random(1,3)]);
a={", this is "};io.write(a[math.random(1,1)]);
a={"awesome", "wonderful"};io.write(a[math.random(1,2)]);
a={"."};io.write(a[math.random(1,1)]);
print()
print([==[
public class a {
public static void Main() {
System.Random r=new System.Random();
if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("Thank you");}else{if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("Wow");}else{System.Console.Write("Great");};};
System.Console.Write(", this is ");
if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("awesome");}else{System.Console.Write("wonderful");};
System.Console.Write(".");
System.Console.WriteLine();
System.Console.WriteLine(@"class a {
public static void main(String[] args) {
java.util.Random r=new java.util.Random();
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""Thank you"");}else{if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""Wow"");}else{System.out.print(""Great"");};};
System.out.print("", this is "");
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""awesome"");}else{System.out.print(""wonderful"");};
System.out.print(""."");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""\\def \\optb {\\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Thank you\\else \\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Wow\\else Great\\fi\\fi}%"");

System.out.println(""\\def \\optd {\\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 awesome\\else wonderful\\fi}%"");

System.out.println(""\\optb{}, this is \\optd{}."");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""['Thank you''Wow''Great']3rand=', this is '['awesome''wonderful']2rand='.'"");
System.out.println(""\\bye"");
}
}");
}
}
]==]);

Lua

$ lua a.lua
Great, this is wonderful.
public class a {
public static void Main() {
System.Random r=new System.Random();
if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("Thank you");}else{if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("Wow");}else{System.Console.Write("Great");};};
System.Console.Write(", this is ");
if (r.NextDouble()<0.5){System.Console.Write("awesome");}else{System.Console.Write("wonderful");};
System.Console.Write(".");
System.Console.WriteLine();
System.Console.WriteLine(@"class a {
public static void main(String[] args) {
java.util.Random r=new java.util.Random();
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""Thank you"");}else{if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""Wow"");}else{System.out.print(""Great"");};};
System.out.print("", this is "");
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print(""awesome"");}else{System.out.print(""wonderful"");};
System.out.print(""."");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""\\def \\optb {\\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Thank you\\else \\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Wow\\else Great\\fi\\fi}%"");

System.out.println(""\\def \\optd {\\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 awesome\\else wonderful\\fi}%"");

System.out.println(""\\optb{}, this is \\optd{}."");
System.out.println();
System.out.println(""['Thank you''Wow''Great']3rand=', this is '['awesome''wonderful']2rand='.'"");
System.out.println(""\\bye"");
}
}");
}
}

C#

$ mcs a.cs
$ mono a.exe
Thank you, this is wonderful.
class a {
public static void main(String[] args) {
java.util.Random r=new java.util.Random();
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print("Thank you");}else{if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print("Wow");}else{System.out.print("Great");};};
System.out.print(", this is ");
if (r.nextFloat()<0.5){System.out.print("awesome");}else{System.out.print("wonderful");};
System.out.print(".");
System.out.println();
System.out.println("\\def \\optb {\\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Thank you\\else \\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Wow\\else Great\\fi\\fi}%");

System.out.println("\\def \\optd {\\ifnum500>\\pdfuniformdeviate1000 awesome\\else wonderful\\fi}%");

System.out.println("\\optb{}, this is \\optd{}.");
System.out.println();
System.out.println("['Thank you''Wow''Great']3rand=', this is '['awesome''wonderful']2rand='.'");
System.out.println("\\bye");
}
}

Java

$ javac a.java
$ java a
Wow, this is wonderful.
\def \optb {\ifnum500>\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Thank you\else \ifnum500>\pdfuniformdeviate1000 Wow\else Great\fi\fi}%
\def \optd {\ifnum500>\pdfuniformdeviate1000 awesome\else wonderful\fi}%
\optb{}, this is \optd{}.

['Thank you''Wow''Great']3rand=', this is '['awesome''wonderful']2rand='.'
\bye

PdfTeX

(the code will be inside a.pdf instead of the stdout. I hope this is still okay)

$ pdftex a.tex
This is pdfTeX, Version 3.1415926-2.4-1.40.13 (TeX Live 2012)
 restricted \write18 enabled.
entering extended mode
(./a.tex [1{/usr/local/texlive/2012/texmf-var/fonts/map/pdftex/updmap/pdftex.ma
p}] )</usr/local/texlive/2012/texmf-dist/fonts/type1/public/amsfonts/cm/cmr10.p
fb>
Output written on a.pdf (1 page, 15967 bytes).
Transcript written on a.log.
$ open a.pdf

Result:

pdftex result

In text:

Great, this is wonderful.
['Thank you''Wow''Great']3rand=', this is '['awesome''wonderful']2rand='.'

Golfscript

$ ruby golfscript.rb a.gs
Wow, this is awesome.

Notes

  1. It seems PHP is quite forgiving with binary data in string literals, except for hex codes AF and 96. Don't ask why.

  2. I could've probably added perl and C++11 code as well easily (as they both support raw string literals), but 8 is a more round number than 10 :)

  3. The distribution of values is not uniform, as the first element comes more often than later ones. According to comments this should be okay.

  4. The initial code was actually generated using the following PHP 5.5 code. orig.rb is actually the same as the Ruby code without the footer (__END__ and the appended data afterwards)

generator.php:

<?php
$d=file_get_contents('orig.rb');
$dc = gzcompress($d,9);
echo '<?php $x=file_get_contents("php://stdin");echo preg_replace_callback("/\\[(.*?)\\]/",function($m){$r=explode("/",$m[1]);return $r[array_rand($r)];},$x)';
?><?php
echo ".gzuncompress(\"";
for ($i=0;$i<strlen($dc);$i++) {
  switch($dc[$i]) {
  case '"':
    echo "\\\"";break;
  case "\n":
    echo "\\n";break;
  case '\\':
    echo "\\\\";break;
  case "\x00":case "\xaf":case "\x96":
    echo sprintf("\\x%02x",ord($dc[$i]));
    break;
  default:
    echo $dc[$i];
  }
}
echo "\").\"__END__\\n\".\$x;";

(you can potentially use this code to zLib encompress PHP solutions for other challenges)


Ruby 1.9 -> Perl 5 -> Python 2, 227/9 = 25.22222...

$><<(g=gets).gsub(/\[(.*?)\]/){$1.split(?/).sample}+"say'#{g.chop}'=~s|\\[(.*?)\\]|@a=split'/',$1;$a[rand@a]|reg;say'import re,random;print re.sub(\"\\[(.*?)\\]\",lambda m:random.choice(m.group(1).split(\"/\")),\"#{g.chop}\")'"

Output for [Please/Kindly] [visit/see] my [site/blog].:

Please see my site.
say'[Please/Kindly] [visit/see] my [site/blog].'=~s|\[(.*?)\]|@a=split'/',$1;$a[rand@a]|reg;say'import re,random;print re.sub("\[(.*?)\]",lambda m:random.choice(m.group(1).split("/")),"[Please/Kindly] [visit/see] my [site/blog].")'

The Perl program (my first ever! :-P) outputs:

Kindly see my blog.
import re,random;print re.sub("\[(.*?)\]",lambda m:random.choice(m.group(1).split("/")),"[Please/Kindly] [visit/see] my [site/blog].")

The Python program outputs:

Kindly visit my site.