Can I stop my Lords from hating me?

In game, you can consult with all your lords before appointing a fief, then appoint the fief to the lord who has the most supporters amongst other lords. This should limit the negative relations hit to the lords who did not support the lord who eventually gets the fief.

Failing that you can modify your game using the module system to lessen the relationships hit. IF you're not familiar with modding the game and the module system this can be a bit of a challenge, but the way to do it is:

Find the file module_scripts.py, and look for the script give_center_to_lord.

Find the line:

(val_clamp, ":relation_with_liege_change", -5, 3)

This line signifies that the relationship change between lords and liege when awarding fiefs varies between -5 and 3. Change those values to whatever you like, for example -1, 20.

Note that this change will also affect other kings, so this makes getting their vassals harder.

To make the change only affect the player, change the line by this piece of code:

(try_begin),
(eq, ":faction_leader", "trp_player"),
(val_clamp, ":relation_with_liege_change", -5, 3), ##CHANGE THIS LINE HOWEVER YOU'D LIKE
(else_try),
(val_clamp, ":relation_with_liege_change", -5, 3), #THIS WILL BE FOR ALL OTHER KINGDOMS
(try_end)

Again, change the values in the above piece of code to whatever you want.

Source: talewords forum.

You can also wait till he is 'devoted' then try to recruit said lord, at that point he wont take any loyalty hit when you give the village to another lord. Alternativly, when you are recruiting for lords, be sure to tell them when they ask why they should join 'BECAUSE I WILL DEAL WITH ALL MEN FAIRLY'. This will lessen the amount of greedy lords that will come to your banner, and you're telling them starting off that you plan to deal with all lords equaly.